So you’ve hit the terrible twos. Suddenly your sweet, innocent baby is morphing into a mean dictator. It seems so harshly put…but for most of us who have raised a few kids, we are not surprised when this sweet angel turns demon. It can be ugly.
In my house, I have learned a few tricks that can turn that toddler’s frown upside down. It takes work and stick-to-iveness, but you will be rewarded! Here is one simple solution I use that works quite well. It comes in three simple steps.
How to combat a Tantrum:
1) Communicate with empathy. (Find out more about this principle with Love and Logic. loveandlogic.com)
2) Explain the problem and the consequence clearly.
3) Always act consistently with what you communicate
4) Repeat
Example 1:
Here is an example. Baby sees that older brother has a cookie she wants. She proceeds to grab the cookie. When big brother tries to take the cookie back, baby slaps big brother in the face and yells,”No! My cookie!”
Here is the Mama solution. “Oh, sweetie (in a very soft and gentle tone)…we don’t take cookies from big brother. And we don’t hit. No, thank you. I am going to put you in the bathroom all by yourself for two minutes now. Here is the timer. I am going to turn in on. You may come out when you are nice and sweet and when the timer is done.” I gently place her in the bathroom, leave the door slightly ajar and turn the sandtimer over for her to see plainly. She screams, of course…as if she were dying. Then, she either tries to run out or she calms down and comes out happy as a clam. If she tries to run out, I repeat the process. Works like a charm.
Example 2:
Here is a second example. I say something like, “Honey, it’s time to go potty.” Baby says, “No, no potty!” And throws herself on the floor, limp so I cannot pick her up easily. I say,”Oh, this is a bummer. It is important for you to go potty so you don’t have an accident. And, we don’t throw fits. You are disturbing the peace. I am going to put you in the bathroom until you are ready to go potty. Feel free to call me when you are ready to go…and I will come help you out. Until then, you can stay in the bathroom all by yourself.” I gently place her in the bathroom, leave the door slightly ajar and wait for her to call me. 100% of the time, within about 1-3 minutes she calls me and says, “Mama, ready!”
The 2-year-old can really be a loud nuisance with her toddler tantrums, so I have made it very clear that when she decides to throw a fit for any reason, she will simply have to have her toddler tantrums in a bathroom away from the family so as not to disturb the peace in the house. As long as I communicate clearly and gently and consistently act upon my words, we have a system that works wonders!
I look forward to hearing how it works for you!
Images used under creative commons license – commercial use (11/3/2015) superhua (Flickr)
